Countdown

I'm going to be a mom in 2 weeks or less! What?! It's finally here and there's no turning back. It's not like I can hand it off...this is a task only I can finish. There is no other replacement!! But ohhhh are we excited!!!

I remember how it all came about. Grant was ready, I wasn't. I was in the middle of getting my MA Degree and really wanted to finish it out before we got pregnant. I felt that our life would be more "in order" if we followed that route. However, life threw us a curve ball...I was diagnosed with PCOS. Depending on the severity, it can make it difficult, sometimes impossible, to conceive. Grant and I felt the sooner we started trying, the better. We prayed and asked God for a baby and that my PCOS would not interfere with having a child of our own. Well, God was all ears and heard our desire because that very month we found out we'd be having a baby!! Whoot Whoot!! Pretty amazing, huh?

Being pregnant has been such a cool experience for me. I wasn't sure how I'd be. I'm usually pretty go with the flow, try not to make life complicated type of girl. So, there was a part of me that really wanted to be dramatic and over the top with this process...in a good way, of course! :) I didn't want to treat it like another ordinary day--I wanted to be childlike with it! It has taught me a lot about the tongue and how much life and power it has (Proverbs 18:21). What I mean is... Grant and I laugh about how people have felt so much freedom with sharing every negative thing about pregnancy. And I welcome the opinions...I want to be teachable and learn...I need relationships with people where I can learn from them!! However, God has given me a gift, a GIFT! I want to look at it with His eyes and treat it as the most precious blessing I could ever receive...that only comes from Him. Does that mean I'm in denial about how motherhood can be difficult? Not at all. But, if I were to go througout life always consumed and overwhelmed with the hardships of what life can bring, then I would be dead...dead to me and everyone around me. I do not want to lose my saltiness (Luke 14:34). Fight for saltiness!!! :)

So now, with just 2 weeks to go...our little no-name child is running out of room, kicking me and keeping me up at night, eating big and growing lots of hair and a big belly (so my Dr. says)! Keep us in your prayers. We cannot wait for you to meet her! We'll be keeping you informed, oh and wings for everyone if you want to join the party at the hospital while we wait for her to arrive!

Love you all!

Proverbs 31

I'm convinced that most men love this chapter...a lot. I get this picture in my mind of a man reading the words with a sly grin thinking "that's right, serve me woman!" And I will say, depending on our individual circumstance, it can be a challenging chapter for women to live by. God has placed it heavily on my heart lately. He really wants to hammer it home, so I'm going to let him challenge me with it. By the way, if you read it in The Message version, it's easier to digest.

It seems like we've been surrounded by failing marriages lately. I look at my own and thank God for it. Grant and I are not perfect, but we are good. We both work so hard to stay in tune with each other, making sure needs are being met and expectations are fulfilled. It has not been easy...we've had many late nights and lots of hard communication. However, God never ceases to remind me that we are not above brokenness. In fact, it would be foolish of me to see these struggling relationships around me, to weep and pray with my loved ones and for their marriages to be saved, but then to come home to Grant and to be a mediocre wife.

If I made a list of priorities today Grant would be at the top, right behind my relationship with the Lord. Why is it that we make a list of priorities but never actually fulfill most of them? I know I'm guilty of that. Anyway, he would be next in line even before my own daughter and the rest of my family. The first thing God said when He created the first woman is that she was made as a helpmate to her husband. He didn't say, "And behold ... I have created a mother." He said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18, NIV). Motherhood came along later, after the call of being a helpmate was established.

We have 3 weeks left until we will be a family of 3. Grant and I have discussed our roles and standards that we will stay true to, which I'm sure has the possibility of changing...and we will figure that out as we go. We do not expect it to always be easy. My daughter, unintentionally, could easily separate Grant and I, if we allowed it. If I chose to be a mom who cared for my daughter and fought for my daughter, but not for my marriage, it would create a wall in my marriage. Think about it. How many marriages do you know like that? The kids lives have come between the husband and the wife, creating feelings and strongholds that should never exist. I don't think Proverbs 31 is just about me taking care of Grant, our child, and our home. Grant and I have made the decision to be a team so when I'm down and out, he needs to fill in, and vice versa. I think, for me, entering into this new season, Proverbs 31 is a chapter of integrity and a reminder that I have a covenant with my husband, blessed by God. I will honor that and do my best to maintain the definition of marriage made by God.

I hope I accomplished, in some way, what God has laid on my heart. My thoughts have been so jumbled recently; I like to blame it on the "pregnant brain." My prayer is that our lives will reflect the scriptures and that our hearts and attitudes will stay aligned with God's. Yes, that is my prayer.

Love.